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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
I’m feeling “stuck” in my life and can’t
find a way to get moving. How can coaching help me?
What we are really talking about here is intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic
motivation does not depend on external factors to keep us moving. We keep
moving in life because the direction we are moving in (and the experiences
we are having) are meaningful and often new to us. They feed our life and
give us energy.
We become stuck when we have attached ourselves to people, circumstances,
material possessions, or even ideas in such a way that we ignore the right
timing and direction of our own natural movement. We are stuck when we have
done this long enough for us to reach the point of complacency - or learned
helplessness - and begin to rationalize or justify our choice to stay stuck.
At this point, we may perceive that we can’t (or sometimes don’t want to)
choose differently, as it has been so long since we have felt the intrinsic
rewards of autonomous movement. In a word - we “settle” because we no longer
know the difference. The resulting lack of motivation is really just a level
of energy that is much lower than it
should be.
As small children, we are experts on intrinsic motivation because we are so
focused on what brings us pleasure. This is why children have so much
energy! By the time we have become adults, many of us have lost this sense
of wonder and natural ability to seek out what feeds us. Instead, we seek to
avoid pain. Given a choice, most adults will choose the least painful
option, whereas very young children will go directly to the choice that
pleases them.
When was the last time you did something that created that same childlike
“rush” throughout your body? This truly is the key that will keep us moving.
Of course, we can see how difficult it may be to make changes on our own if
we are feeling unmotivated. Inside our box of fears and perceptions, we
might change our mind about being stuck, while our body continues to react
autonomically in ways that seem to work against us. Some of us may feel
“power-less to create change”.
Sometimes “fresh eyes”, a different perspective, or having the guidance and
support of a Personal Coach can make all the difference!
Leia Gamache, owner of WhiteFire Coaching offers personal &
professional coaching services dedicated to elevating relationships, career
& wellness. Contact Leia at 403.875.7594 or through
www.whitefirecoaching.org
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