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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
How do I stop blaming myself for my adult children’s missteps? If your children are grown-up and you are still on the hook for their
choices, you may need to re-examine your beliefs regarding the
“mother-myth”, and all its ideological fabrications.
Here I am referring to the ever-popular mother-based developmental
psychology, whose inclination is to reduce the experience of motherhood to a
linear pattern, which overlooks, for each, the call to an individual
destiny. This notion does great disservice to both mothers and their
offspring, as it traps them in what James Hillman called a “one-way,
vertical causality”, which by its name suggests that only mothers can set in
motion the causes that determine the effects: the child’s overall
adjustment, ad infinitum. This is not only illogical, but also very
dismissive of the countless energies and influences that contribute to
shaping our lives. Such a belief is made to accommodate ego, rather than
spirit.
Actually, taking into account the law of cause and effect, your adult
children may simply be responding to the false belief they sensed all along
was your foundation for motherhood. Understanding the source of our false
beliefs is really the first step to initiate change.
How do you change such a deep-seated guilt producing belief? First, you need
to remember that personality, temperament and character are born much more
than they are made. Furthermore, you are very fortunate to be alive at a
time when concepts such as karma, synchronicity and the law of attraction
have become part of our everyday language. This phenomenon has opened the
door to a new way of envisioning a higher purpose for our relationships. We
can now appreciate that children come into this life bearing gifts and are
fully equipped to realize their destiny.
As people progress on the spiritual path, they begin to recognize that their
souls were attracted to the lessons that could be learned in their
respective families. As we realize there is no mistake, we can further drop
our attachment to the roll we took on this time around. This enables us to
see the reciprocity of karma, which cancels out the guilt producing linear
pattern and allows us to contemplate the possibility that our children are
also here to teach us.
Are you interested in learning more about your inherited psychology? Contact
Celine Williamson at the Institute of Psychogenealogy at 403.240.4103. To
learn more about Celine’s services, visit
www.psychogenealogyinstitute.com
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