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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
Why is my husband caring and attentive with me most of the time, and then
quiet and withdrawn at other times? I always feel like I have upset him
somehow.
Why is my husband
caring and attentive with me most of the time, and then quiet and withdrawn
at other times? I always feel like I have upset him somehow.
Relationships are uniquely different for men and women. For women, the
bonding tends to occur with the more time spent with your partner, but for
men, this bonding process requires time apart, and away from you. Through
spending time apart from his partner, a man can begin to appreciate her
more, and actually crave the time with her. When a man loves a woman, he
will periodically need to pull away from her to feel his love. If a man does
not have the opportunity to pull away and be on his own, he will never get
the chance to feel his strong desire to be close.
Men are continuously alternating between needing intimacy, and striving for
autonomy. To some degree, a man loses part of himself through connecting
with his partner because men have an internal struggle between being
self-reliant and being dependent on others. Many women are unaware of this
process, and begin to panic or become overly clingy just as her partner is
withdrawing and focusing on his independence. Open and honest communication
is the vital key in long lasting relationships. Both men and women can focus
on reassuring each other during this time by providing the required space,
affection, and understanding, without the risk of judgement or punishment.
Although it may be difficult for women to do this, by allowing your partner
to have the space he needs, he will come back to you with open arms and an
open heart. The best time to talk with a man is during the time that he is
drawing close again, as this is when he is most receptive to your needs, and
will ultimately be more willing to discuss any issues of your relationship
together. With this shared appreciation and mutual understanding, your
thoughts and feelings will be fully respected by each other.
By formulating a plan with goals specific to your own needs and
requirements, couple and individual coaching will provide you, and your
partner, the appropriate tools; including over 200 ways men and women can
avoid conflict and have a long lasting, successful relationship now and for
many years to come.
For more practical relationship advice, contact Karen Howells of
MarsVenus Coaching at 403.483.2967. To find out more about Karen’s coaching
services, visit her website at
www.marsvenuscoaching.com/howells
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