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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
My partner and I have argued so much over the past year that we now feel
like strangers. Is it possible to leave the past behind and start over?
The short answer is yes. It isn’t easy but may be worth it! Your situation
is common in relationships that have experienced a significant challenge or
where the priorities have shifted to the details of daily life.
You can either spend a lot of energy in relationship or gain it. If you have
experienced a significant challenge and it is at the root of your arguments,
seek resolution - without talking your problems to death!
What do you need to feel ok? What does your partner need? Are you willing to
give this to each other? Are you willing to give to yourself what is needed
to move forward? It is your “response-ability.” Do you have the ability to
respond to your situation in ways that will create the outcome you desire?
What must you let go of to do this?
If your relationship has been given second billing to the “priorities” of
daily life, you may have temporarily lost your sense of connection. This can
result in both of you becoming frustrated with even minor inconveniences.
Again, you will lose energy by feeding your frustration.
To gain energy in your relationship, your focus needs to shift from pain to
pleasure. Yes...that means, in most cases, you can “fix” your relationship
by having more fun!
Unless it is positive, bringing up the past does not bode well. To move
beyond the same old arguments, each of you might consider doing some things
that will help bring closure to the past.
On separate pieces of paper, write down why you and your partner came
together in the beginning. Next, if you could change three things about your
relationship, what would they be? Your partner cannot be one of them!
Finally, what are three things that you could do to create those changes?
Take in each of those pieces in silence and hold the intent that you will
leave your past relationship in the past and what will you create together
in its place?
Want a new beginning? Give your relationship priority, once per week and
don’t spend that time “working” on it or anything else! Let go of what you
think you “know” about each other every day and look for what is new.
Remember, if you change one thing, the same pattern cannot exist. That one
thing is you!
For more information on how to live the life you want, contact Leia Gamache
at WhiteFire Coaching at 403.875.7594 or
what.if@shaw.ca
www.whitefirecoaching.org
www.whitefirecoaching.blogspot.com
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