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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
I work 50 to 60 hours each week and go
home exhausted to an empty house. I need to get out more, but I don’t feel
comfortable with my social skills. How can I change?
In the past, working on your career has been safer than relationships, but
“all work and no play” causes stress, dissatisfaction, burnout and sickness.
While friendships can bring you tremendous pleasure, they are challenging
for some people. Over the next few months use this fun experiment to “learn
how to make friends!”
To start, list ten positive qualities that you bring to friendships. What
have others complimented you on? Think of old friends. How did all your
individual personalities compliment each other? Did you challenge each other
to grow? Who would you like to re-connect with or get to know better? What
do you like best about each person? How would they challenge you to grow?
Next, think about what you have enjoyed doing in the past or would you like
to do, such as taking a course, volunteering, hobbies or sports. List twenty
specific things you would like to do over the next four months, such as meet
a friend for coffee, make two new friends, learn to paint, go to a party,
throw a party, go to a movie, etc. This is a perfect time to re-connect with
old friends and discover new ones. Set yourself a goal of one function each
week. Include work and social events. Perhaps you could ask a co-worker to
join you for an hour at a networking luncheon. Tag along with someone, say
“YES” to everything you are invited to, volunteer to help and contact old
friends!
At social events, make the effort to talk to three new people. Ask questions
so the other person engages in the conversation with you. Ask them about
vacations, courses, animals, family, work? It’s interesting to learn about
people and your goal is to make one new friend. A fun strategy for this is
to model someone else such as an excellent conversationalist or movie star.
Imagine stepping into their personality, how they look, hearing their words,
feeling confident, and working the room.
Finally, challenge yourself to make four new friends over the next four
months. After meeting a potential friend say, “I’ve enjoyed talking to you
and would love to get together again!” Ask for their contact information and
make sure you contact them.
Jan Mitchell, owner of Expanding Minds, is a Master NLP Counselor
dedicated to helping you “take back your life” Call 403.225.2973 or visit
www.expanding-minds.com to learn more about her counseling
services. |
