|
RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
I love my
partner, but our relationship just isn’t working and I really don’t think I
can stay. How can I end things without us becoming enemies?
All relationships take on a life of their own and are subject to the same
cycles of death and new beginnings as every other living thing, yet one of
our greatest fears can be the unknown spaces inside these cycles of change.
Much has been written about the different phases of love and the tragic
unraveling of an otherwise great romance.
The truth is that a surprisingly low percentage of the population ends up
growing old together inside the undying love that first sparked their
journey. I say this because this ideal is a rare and courageous feat to
accomplish. In these relationships, both partners are willing and able to
co-create something new as their relationship evolves.
By no means, should you consider your journey together as a failure if you
have, instead, reached a natural ending. We get into relationships for many
reasons. We tend to choose relationships that reflect who we are through one
phase of our lives and sometimes come to outgrow our partner as we change
and grow in a different direction. If you have come to the natural end of
your relationship, you will feel the truth of that in your belly. It may be
the case that you have fulfilled the reason why you came together in the
first place. The difficult part is the realization that your partner may not
agree or feel complete within his own reason for choosing to be in
relationship with you.
The two of you will go through a period of grieving and separation, which
may have already begun. Keep in mind that grieving is necessary and
inevitably comes with feelings of anger, blame and periods of negotiation.
You cannot spare your partner this process. A healthy completion at the end
of a relationship is one in which at least one partner understands the space
and process needed to move toward a new beginning.
It is important to remember that there is a gift inside of even the most
challenging relationships. Your awareness of that gift is what you will want
to take away with you in the end. Remember that you once loved each other
and may still. If your relationship held an element of friendship, you may
be able to re-create that and allow your relationship to continue along a
different path when the time for a new beginning has come.
Leia Gamache, owner of WhiteFire Coaching, offers personal &
professional coaching services dedicated to elevating relationships, career
& wellness. Contact Leia at 403.875.7594 or through
www.whitefirecoaching.org
|
