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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
My ten-year-old daughter, who attends her best friend’s church, is
getting narrow ideas about spirituality. What do I do?
Your
daughter is getting something she wants by attending church. Ask her why she
goes. Perhaps it’s because of the music, more children her own age, or being
with her best friend. Once you understand her reasons, consider going there
occasionally. Meet the people she knows, seeing them through her eyes as
well as your own.
Engage her in a conversation about God, prayer and church. Ask how this
affects her daily life. Know that children cannot easily grasp abstract
concepts so learn them through story, art or activity. It’s often easier for
adults to understand spirituality that way too!
If your concern is that God is presented only as an external power, give
examples of an inner God. Share when you feel connected to a wide Spirit,
perhaps in nature or in acts of generosity. Encourage your daughter to
question what doesn’t make sense, comparing answers to her own experience.
Our spiritual beliefs are often the most intimate part of our lives, so
question gently. Respect her right to make her own decisions. Trust she is
okay given her age. Your behaviour that matches your beliefs of a wider
spirit will be more effective than words.
Spiritual beliefs develop as we age. It’s okay for children to believe
simple concepts. They want answers to their wonderings, seeking security and
comfort. If you are concerned about her becoming too self-righteous, arrange
more time with flexible relatives and friends. Help her find joy in
pleasures outside of church, with yourself and extended family. Use sense of
humour, but don’t tease her.
If she believes in magic, miracles and angels, she may be gifted psychically
and seeks validation and guidance. Whatever it is, you know her best. Trust
her to do her own growing. Her beliefs in two years time will be different.
When she acts unbalanced or stereotypical, tell her your concerns and why.
Remember: truth in spiritual matters is always subjective.
Finally, be less concerned about your daughter’s beliefs than her behaviour.
Goodness is determined by actions, not in having the “right” ideas. Be
thankful she’s not drawn to a more selfish activity. Remember love is common
to all spiritual traditions, so relax, accept and love her .
For help in expanding your child’s spiritual concepts, contact Sharon
Montgomery, writer & Healing Touch practitioner & author of “Your Invisible
Bodies”, at 403.246.2508 or email
shmontgo@telus.net
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