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 Are
You Complacent? Living a Life Without the Za Za Zoo
By Karen Matheson of Sole to Soul Wellness
Are you stuck? Lost your passion for life? Just getting by? In a
relationship that is no longer growing?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions than you are in a group of
many. People have given up and are doing only what it takes to survive;
students are just making the grade to pass, employees do only what it takes
to squeak under the radar in order to pick up for their pay cheques, and
people in relationships are avoiding doing the work needed to grow. Sound
familiar?
A question I ask my clients time and time again, “What brings you passion?
What gets you excited?” And time and time again the response is that they
have no idea. What happened to the philosophy of “learning something new
everyday” or “pushing yourself beyond yesterday”?
Since I was young, the one thing I promised myself is that I would never
live someone else’s fear. And it was that belief that allowed me to follow
my interests; to go places beyond my knowing without fear. Trusting the pull
of desire over the limitation of the unknown takes you beyond. In my career,
I worked many industries, taking my education and building on what I knew to
what I needed to know to do my job. The jobs I did were because I carved
learning. I never fell into the mantra of doing it because that is the way
everyone has done it before.
Education was not a chore; it was a passion whether it be in the classroom
or in life. And in all cases, I was confronted with people living
complacently and how I knew this is because when I succeeded they went into
fear. They were living the life they chose...complacency and “just getting
by!” If people around you are surpassing you and it’s making you envious,
angry or jealous than you need to plug back in and reignite the fire in your
life. Doing things because you CHOOSE TO not because you HAVE TO, that’s
passion.
Think of all those things that you wanted in your life...those dreams! Now
think of the reasons that you gave up on them. Yes, that’s right; all those
things you were “told and believed” allowed another person or situation to
limit your experience, instilling fears or beliefs. For instance, do these
sound familiar? “It’s too dangerous”, “you can’t do that, you’re a parent or
professional” or “I tried it once and I failed”. The only limitations you
have are the ones you buy into. A fellow classmate had been in leg braces
and canes all his life. He promised himself he would walk across the
graduation stage without his canes and he did because he believed beyond the
limitation of what those canes meant to the rest of the world.
When we hear of the 90 year old grandmother who went back to University to
get a degree, the dad who swam across the ocean, the menopausal mothers who
are the newest rock band, it is breaking news! Why is this the exception and
not the rule? Why have you chosen complacency over living the ultimate life?
I was in a class recently where we were being asked to take an ordinary
thing and give it purpose. I chose a pencil, and its purpose was the tool
that takes ordinary thoughts and makes them into reality. So to expand on
this, journaling is a big thing in any healing or self-development group.
Why? Because writing it down makes it real. Think about it. When you start
up a business, you create a business plan. This gives you focus, does it
not? Are you more successful? Absolutely! Equate this to writing a grocery
list. If you write it and actually take it with you to the store and follow
it, chances are you will get what you want. On the other hand, if you write
it and leave the list at home, you will probably get most of the things but
will miss a few but important components. And finally, not writing the list
and winging it often means the results are as random as your thoughts.
Focusing on goals and giving the attention to details gets the results,
that’s the secret. Does it mean that it is perfect the first time round? Not
likely, but at least at that point you have something tangible to change.
It seems that many of us are hooked on those reality shows of people
stepping outside the box. For these participants, the buy in is a chance at
money but at the end of it all these people push themselves out of the roles
they thought identified them and become the people they are capable of
being. These shows display people pushing themselves physically, mentally
and emotional and yes, spiritually. Maybe there is something more to these
reality shows that we need to take a closer look at. Think about how many
people are stuck in relationships for the sake of not being alone or people
in jobs they hate because of the “oh, mighty pay check”. What would happen
if you showed up to your life fully - what then? Would you be stuck in a job
that compromises your integrity, or live in a loveless marriage, or sit and
watch the world pass you by...I think not!
When people say that they are looking for relationships, I tell them to date
themselves for 30 days. Are you dependable, funny, integral, giving? If you
can’t give to yourself, why would anyone else? If YOUR life is not what YOU
want, than do something about it. A client told me she would pray when she
hit the rough times. I said “Then what?” She looked at me in wonderment.
“Well I pray!” she replied, missing my point. Life it not like ordering
pizza, place a call and 30 minutes later you get what you asked for. You
need to take responsibility and put your prayer/dreams into action. Some of
you may have seen the movie “The Secret”. Many say it does not work. I say
it does. I have lived it for the past 24 years. I have gotten the jobs I
wanted, lived were I wanted, travel where I wanted, and won prizes that I
wanted and got the education I wanted - no one did it for me. And for the
most part I got more that I ever asked for because I showed up.
If you are ready to step from a life of complacency & change your
limiting beliefs & thoughts then call Karen at Sole to Soul Wellness at
403.251.7242 or email uwriteme@shaw.ca
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