 Loving
Our Family -
Coming Together This Holiday Season
By Karen Klassen of Imagine SeminarsAs we enter
the holiday season, this article is written to remind families to let go of
the past and make every effort to come together in love and peace.
If we want to live in a world of peace we first must have peace within our
families. We must be the peace and project that out in every possible way.
This can be difficult if our life choices have caused us pain or grief.
Sometimes it is hard to understand why things are happening the way they are
and why life continually bombards us with overwhelming problems.
Instead of dealing with our own emotional pain, we tend to project out and
blame others. This leads us to feeling like we are victims in life instead
knowing that we are all conscious creators. Everything that happens to us in
life is teaching us and reminding us to respond in love rather than react in
anger or revenge. Here are a few tips to assist your family in connecting
from the heart this holiday season.
1) Take the Time to Get to Know Each Other - I knew a man who rarely spoke
to his sister because he thought she was weird. He didn’t like the way she
dressed but never made any attempt to get to know her. We only judge others
in a negative way because we do not understand. It is only through the act
of communication that leads to understanding. We may not know why people do
the things they do but if we never take the time to learn about who they
are, we are missing out on a valuable opportunity. This season take a
moment, sit down with your sister, brother, mom or dad and ask them: What
are they passionate about? If they had a chance to have a dream come true
what would it be? Find out what makes them sad, happy or why they believe in
the things they believe in. We all have something in common. There is a
story in everyone just waiting to be told.
2) Let the Hurting Stop - Certain members may have brought us pain or hurt
in the past. We may feel a sense of loss, of deep separation and possibly an
emptiness that is desperately waiting to be filled. We tend to strike back
when a person has hurt us and try to make them pay, or we withdraw and hide
ourselves. It can be difficult to look that person in the eye and talk to
them directly. Compounding our problems adds fuel to the fire. It is here we
can ask ourselves, is this how I want to live the rest of my life with my
heart closed to this person or what am I afraid of? It is never too late to
forgive especially ourselves for being unloving. Let the hurting stop by
having the courage to approach whoever you feel you must. Take their hands
and look them in the eye and say, “I forgive you as I forgive myself. I am
making the choice to let go. I cannot change the past however I do have the
power to make a better and happier tomorrow.”
3) Live Life with an Open Heart - Each of us interprets reality in a
different way. It doesn’t make it wrong or right, or good or bad. So let
things just be and play out as they are. When we learn to accept others for
who they are in the moment, we open our hearts to the many different life
expressions. An open heart is also a heart that can let go. We can let go
and allow people to live their own life and allow them to solve their own
problems without interfering. Your family is the perfect family for you to
learn perfect and wonderful lessons. Only when you magnify your love do the
behaviours of others change for the better.
4) Love Will Always Find the Best - No human relationship can endure for
long without a great deal of patience and making room for allowances. Make
it a habit to look for the best in others especially members of your family.
You will never go wrong. A lot of people look for the worst and they create
a negative atmosphere all around them. This does not mean denying issues.
When an issue arises, address it without blame and in a calm manner to be
resolved. There is an opportunity in the middle of every difficultly. The
key here is to only discuss issues when everyone is in agreement to the
time. Never discuss serious matters over a family dinner. Dinner time is the
best time to focus on everyone’s accomplishments. You have the power to
create the best possible family experience.
5) Give the Gift of Love Today - This holiday season is about giving, not
just monetary giving but true giving from the heart. Love is what everybody
wants. The power of love is helping others feel good about themselves.
Statements such as: “You can decide for yourself who you want to be”, or
“you deserve to be treated well and with respect”, or simply, “I love you”
are powerful words that show you care. Families can provide the support and
the compassion that allows each member to show their feelings and express
their fears through open discussion. A positive family environment is about
respecting choices, communicating openly and listening well. Learn to honour
your family, after all, your soul chose them for a reason.
Our world will always present us with unforeseen challenges. The power to
move through these challenges is when families come together in support and
love. Have a joyous holiday season and remember that only love has the power
to heal the wounds of the past. Stay in the present, it is a gift from
spirit that is why it is called the present.
Enjoy your family and the many gifts they have to share.
Karen Klassen is The Relationship Coach & facilitator of The Loving
Relationship Workshop. For information, visit
www.imagineseminars.ca or call 403.801.8463. |
