 Sticks
And Stones May... Break My Bones But Names Will Never
Hurt Me
By Jennifer Alexander of Freedom With PurposeHave you
heard this saying before? Most kids were taught this rhyme by their mothers
when being picked on by bullies in school. There is a country song out right
now by Amanda Wilkinson called, “Nobody Died.” Have you heard it? I like it,
it’s kind of catchy BUT it’s not true. In fact, people do die from being
called names, it just usually happens later on in life when the names and
illness are so spread apart by years that one forgets the original cause of
the illness and blames it on the environment or genetics or some bad luck.
Did you know that your subconscious mind remembers and holds on to every
single thing you have heard, seen and felt since the time you were born? In
fact, between the ages of 0 - 5, children are in their subconscious mind the
entire time. And since the subconscious mind does not judge, does not know
the difference between right and wrong, and does not filter information as
true or false, this can be a great way for kids to learn new skills and
abilities such as walking, talking, tying shoe laces, washing dishes,
reading and writing, etc. But it can also be a way for children to learn
that they aren’t wanted or don’t deserve to be loved, or that work must be
hard to be worthwhile. Or that rich people are bad and greedy, or that
they’ll never amount to anything, or that their dream spouse is too good to
be true and can’t really exist (especially for them), and that good things
happen to those people but never to us, etc., etc., etc.
If a child hears from its playmates that, “You can’t play with us because
you’re too ugly (or too stupid, or too skinny, or too fat, or too tall, or
too short, etc.). We don’t want you around us. Get lost and leave us alone.”
That child could hold on to a belief of being “not good enough” or “not
being likeable”. And from that point forward any comments even remotely
resembling this one, for the rest of their life, will simply compound the
original belief from childhood and make it even more powerful, thereby
limiting them more and more over the years. This results in where the
original, non-supportive beliefs get manifested into something in their
reality, either as a physical ailment, financial issue, abusive
relationship, anxiety or depression, etc.
I’ve seen this many times in people who come to our seminars with deep,
emotional problems. Deep down they have a belief that “they hurt others by
being alive”, especially, may I add, if there were difficulties during
pregnancy and/or birth. Or they might believe, “I don’t deserve to be happy
because others get hurt or mad whenever I’m having fun.” This happens
especially when children try effortlessly to play with their parents only to
be told, “Leave me alone and go play by yourself, I’m too tired to be
bothered by you right now.” Sound familiar?
Did anything like this ever happen to you? If not, what did?
These non-supportive beliefs systems are one of the leading causes of
illness and disease today. In fact, they also largely attribute to financial
struggle, poor relationships, being unhappy and unfulfilled in careers, not
getting along with your children, being overweight, smoking or other
addictions.
Feelings of inadequacy or not being good enough can make it very difficult
for adults to take risks, to make cold calls, to ask for the sale or for a
raise, to approach the man/woman of their dreams, to ask for what they want
or even to act in spite of fear.
Did you know that the number one fear in North America is a fear of public
speaking, however what this really is attributed to is a fear of rejection,
mostly coming from our early school years when teachers got mad at us or
beat us for making a mistake. Or when kids laughed at us when we read the
wrong word or said the wrong thing or didn’t dress the right way.
You see, many people are holding on to these non-supportive beliefs from
childhood forgetting how and when and why they actually formed. Then later
as adults, they can’t figure out what is wrong with them or better yet, how
to change what is wrong with them - for instance, how to get out of debt or
be free from disease or abusive relationships. But the reality is that once
people get the awareness of where their issue is coming from and go through
the process of healing and forgiveness they can learn how to truly live in
their purpose with wonderful relationships all around them, great health and
lots of abundance supporting their every decision.
Let me give a starting point to help you clear these limitations although I
highly recommend that you go through the entire process to learn how to
truly be free. Here is the exercise: Take some time right now to write down
a list of names that you were called in school. Then imagine confronting
each person that said something nasty to you and tell them out loud exactly
how that made the child within you feel at that time. Go ahead and let it
all out here. Yell, kick (the air only), scream, swear, do whatever you need
to do until you feel the negative emotions leave you. Then imagine looking
that person in the eyes and tell them how you feel about them now that you
released those stuck emotions. Before you open your eyes, imagine yourself
in the future taking different actions as a result of being free from those
names.
Do this with each person who said something mean to you. By the time you’re
done you should feel amazing and empowered once again!
Jennifer Alexander, is a speaker at what is known as The Secret #2,
called The Opus Movie. Jennifer will be speaking at live events throughout
Calgary in 2008. For more details, contact 403.873.7500 or visit
www.freedomwithpurpose.com |
