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 RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
I am going through a divorce. How do I get what I want and what I
deserve?
Get educated! It is the power you need! Do not take this journey alone.
Get professional help. Ask for support from friends, family and
professionals, and do your homework in advance so that you are prepared with
information and questions about the issues that concern you. “Division of
Assets” can be a daunting task. If you are prepared and educated it can go
much smoother. You save time, stress and money.
Think about what is really important to you, and think about trade-offs.
Prioritize and look at the whole picture. Don’t limit yourself to one issue.
Be aware of what you value most and don’t get greedy; make sure you look at
the bigger picture. Assess and strategize, anticipating what your spouse may
want or must have as well. Plan some concession points. You may be willing
to give up money for some other benefit, or some other benefit for money.
Understand that different assets have the potential for greater growth over
time.
Be patient. Negotiation is a process that takes time. Focus on the future.
Don’t dwell on past issues that won’t continue once you are divorced; begin
instead with a reasonable position. If you’re unreasonable at outset you
risk an impasse. Stay with the agenda and don’t get stuck on irrelevant
issues.
Don’t formulate a reply without listening carefully. Take notes. Be certain
you understand what is said and clarify by asking questions. Don’t be
confrontational, and avoid verbal put-downs. Focus on the problem instead of
on who’s to blame. If your spouse attacks you verbally, don’t take the bait.
Stay focused on your future goals and on the problems that stand in the way.
Avoid treating everything as equally important, because it is not. If you
can start to focus on the biggest asset and then work down from there, the
process seems easier. The antique furniture and the pension plan are not of
equal value. Know the difference.
Generate solutions. When you say “No”, try to suggest another solution. You
don’t have to agree to anything that you think is unfair, but you should
consider every proposal seriously -- and seriously consider how it can be
modified. Is there something else that might make the proposal more
appealing to you? Make sure you are not being rushed or pushed into
something you are not comfortable with or understand. Make the time to
understand your future!
For more expert financial divorce advice, contact Wendy Olson-Brodeur,
FDS, CFP, CSC at 403.873.0292. Visit
www.tfds.ca to learn
more about her specialized services. |
