|
RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
How can I improve my parenting skills so that my children learn to live
our family values?
Your whole family will benefit with the following positive parenting
skills that will develop your child’s confidence, family values and problem
solving ability. Begin to integrate positive parenting skills into your life
by practicing one of the following each week:
Learn to actively listen: (a) stop what you are doing, make eye contact,
focus on the child; (b) listen to her words and language style (revisit the
last issue of RWM to learn how a person thinks: visually with pictures in
their mind's eye; hearing internal and external sounds, words; or feeling
touch and emotions); (c) learn your own communication style; (d) learn your
child’s communication style; (e) adjust your words to communicate in her
primary communication style; (f) listen for underlying intention or need;
(g) see her perspective (imagine stepping into her shoe’s).
Learn to improve your objectivity: Parents and children often catch each
others emotion and become “over emotional." You lose your objectivity. Learn
to handle your emotions before they push relationship off track with your
child. Learn to understand your child’s problems without drowning in your
emotions. Find healthy ways to get rid of your negative feelings and then
teach your child constructive ways to express fears and negative emotions.
Learn to gather information to find out: (a) what is child feeling; (b) what
is the problem; (c) what she needs; (d) what could help -- guide her past “I
don’t know”; (e) what stops her from moving forward; (f) offer options,
perhaps, maybe (remember that when you ask your child what she would like,
you are not agreeing to do it).
Learn consistent discipline: (a) reinforce good behavior with praise; (b)
set clear limit’s and stick with them; (c) instil that you make the big
decisions; (d) be consistent in following through with discipline or natural
consequences for miss-behaving; (e) give timeouts; (f) calmly restate
behavior expectations; (g) do not nag.
Homework: Over the next few months practice visualizing these in your
imagination. Picture yourself responding in the way you want to,
understanding the child’s point of view, asking questions, offering
suggestions/options, praising, clarifying expectations and consistently
disciplining with love. Be patient. You are learning new skills, and
teaching your child to improve the future.
For more advice on mastering visualization techniques, contact Jan
Mitchell, Master NLP at 403.225.2973. Visit
www.expanding-minds.com to lean about her services. |
