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 RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
My roommate and I are not getting along. She says it is because I don’t
respect her property. She gets upset over things I don’t consider important.
I think she is over-reacting. Can you help me make peace with her?
My roommate and I are not getting along. She says it is because I don’t
respect her property. She gets upset over things I don’t consider important.
I think she is over-reacting. Can you help me make peace with her?
In order to make peace with your roommate, you will need to understand what
she means when she speaks about respect. “Re” means “again” and “spect”
means “to see or to look”. In our culture, the word respect is linked to our
sense of value. We pay respect when we place value on something. So, in our
culture, “re-spect” is to “look again” at the value of something where
perhaps we did not see it before.
When we walk into someone’s home, we instantly see an indication of their
character and self-worth. It has nothing to do with money really. We can
walk into an impoverished home that is well-cared for, or the home of a
“care-less” person with a great deal of money, and immediately see the
difference. A person’s home, then, could be thought of as an extension of
who they are - a form of self-expression to be decorated with items that
hold personal meaning for them.
To go into a person’s home - whether it is a shared space or not - without
seeing the value of caring for what is important to them, is the same as
saying that you don’t value that person and the things they share with you
about who they are. In some countries it is considered an honor to be
welcomed into someone’s home and a high honor to be considered to share the
same dwelling.
When I choose to live with someone, I also choose to value what is important
to them because it is important to them. I don’t have to place the same
importance on an item in order to “re-spect” it; it is simply worth a second
look because they have placed value on it.
Learning to respect the values of others is often a leap in one’s maturation
of character that is necessary in order to go forward in any type of
relationship where shared space is involved.
Look at your own personal space. What does it tell you about your values and
self-worth? What items are present that hold personal meaning for you?
Perhaps this is simply an opportunity for you and your roommate to get to
know each other better!
For more information on how to create healthy relationships with
yourself, life & others, contact Leia Gamache at WhiteFire Coaching at
403.875.7594 or email what.if@shaw.ca
Visit
www.whitefirecoaching.org for details about Leia’s services. |
