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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
I am struggling to help create positive
change in the people closest to me. How can I work towards this? Most of us live our lives in close and intimate relationships with those
we care about deeply. As a result, we often attempt to help them to
“creating positive change” within their lives. As parents, spouses, family
members, partners, co-workers and friends, our desire is to help them grow
and blossom. Sometimes we try too hard and often we run into roadblocks. The
reasons may be as follows:
Look at Your Motives - If our motives are unhealthy when creating
positive change in others, they sense it intuitively. And, when they sense
that our motivation is basically selfish and self-oriented for OUR benefit,
as opposed to theirs, they will consciously, and even sub-consciously,
resist.
Look at Your Mutual Relationship - Often we think those around us
should change simply because we tell them to. Perhaps we have the authority,
title, or position, and think we can just sway others with the force of our
will. However, I have discovered that people will only be influenced from
within correctly by those they have a deep and mutual relationship with. You
cannot influence a person beyond your level of relationship with them. Spend
more time building the personal relationship and less time trying to steer
the person. Spend more time caring, and less time controlling.
Look at Your Message - Are you positive or negative? I learned this
watching leaders who were frustrated and unable to motivate their staff
primarily because they were negative and downbeat in their orientation.
Wanting to achieve so badly, they became pessimistic and depressing, and
that negative energy could no more inspire positive change than make a
flower bloom. This is not about your words, but about your energy and spirit
- your aura and what you emanate. Insure that you radiate positive life
always!
Look at Your Method - Clarity is crucial. People will be discouraged
if we seek to create positive change in them, and yet are unclear or lack
specifics.
Look in the Mirror - Before you create positive change, insure that
you are always growing, always progressing, and constantly evolving into a
healthier and more complete leader. This will give those you are seeking to
influence motivation, inspiration and an example.
Never give up seeking to create positive change in others. We were born to
influence and help others grow. But these easy steps above will multiply
your efforts abundantly.
Interested in becoming an effective coach? Contact Abe Brown, Certified
Master Coach Trainer & Regional VP for the Certified Coaching Federation at
403.389.1190.
www.certifiedcoachesfederation.com
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