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OUR EXPERTS...
Is it too much to want an ambitious, professional man who makes six
figures, reads, cooks and supports my professional ambitions?
By Cathy Brewer of Calgary Speed Dating
I suspect that you would probably like him to be tall, handsome, a good
conversationalist, well-educated, great in the romance department, focussed
on you but also independent when required...not to mention, kind,
thoughtful, well-grounded AND a good listener and provider of emotional
support when needed! And it would be great if he drove a nice car... ...so
many people have lists of “qualifications” like the above for their
potential mate, it’s a wonder how people ever get together.
The best advice I can give is: open yourself up to possibilities. Throw away
your list of qualifications. Date, date, date. Date lots of people. Date
people you have never pictured yourself dating. You will be amazed at the
opportunities that will open up for you. Chances are you will change the
habitual pattern most of us develop that cause us to end up with the same
kind of man each time.
Focus more on what you are bringing to the table. The happier and more
self-confident you are, the more attractive you will be to people. If you
want a lot from someone else, you have to have a lot to offer. It would be
beneficial to lose the “I want a man who can accept me just as I am”
attitude. There isn’t one of us who is perfect and doesn’t have something we
could improve, not just to land a man but to enrich our lives by becoming
better people. Deep down, we know what is attractive about ourselves and
what could use some improvement. One of the most difficult things to do is
to face up to our shortcomings and doing the work that is required to
resolve them.
Before I first started my company, I was seriously over-weight and a single
mother who hadn’t dated for 15 years. I told myself that I was “choosing”
not to date. One day, I faced up to the fact that it wasn’t really a choice.
No one would want to date me in my condition. No man was going to knock on
my front door and sweep me off my feet, sweat pants and all. So, off I went
down the path to a healthier lifestyle, lost 90 pounds, pursued a man who
was nothing like anyone I’d dated before and I haven’t looked back since.
If you do the work required to make yourself into the best person you can
be, I guarantee that the world will truly be your oyster (and you won’t need
a sword to open it).
For more practical advice on dating & relationships, contact Cathy Brewer
at Calgary Speed Dating at 403.219.DATE (3283)
www.calgaryspeeddating.com
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