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 ASK
OUR EXPERTS...
My mother has passed on. She was my best friend. I am devastated with
grief. I can’t function. I feel overwhelmed and frustrated. How can I get
through this?
Be strong. What you are experiencing requires you to accept your
feelings, embrace your emotions and allow yourself to naturally unfold in
the process.
Yes, dealing with grief is a process. It is a natural experience that
includes typical stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and
acceptance. There are also natural “mourning needs” that must be addressed.
These include acknowledging the reality of the death, embracing the pain of
the loss, remembering the person who died, searching for meaning and
developing a new self-identity.
The grief process is not linear as it is naturally experienced in cycles.
“Natural” is being stressed here. Patience with the process and allowing
feelings to come without judgment is your only outlet. Visualize your grief
as if climbing a spiral staircase. Internally and externally everything in
your world may look and feel like you are going in circles, however there is
a beginning to this journey, and there is an end. Look forward to the new
“level” you are about to discover, this is your new self-identity.
Each one of us has an individual style of coping with painful times. Only
you know what coping skills will fit best with your personality and
lifestyle but it is pertinent that you explore as many outlets as you can.
Communicating your feelings with others will help you remember your mother
and find meaning to your grief. Seek the support of your family, they need
you too. Seek the support of your closet friends . They are ready to listen
if you allow them to. And most importantly, seek the support of your inner
self by writing in a journal. Written word speaks volumes in those quiet
moments alone.
Healthy coping skills are important in resolving your loss. Now is the time
to really evaluate how you are reacting. Are you embracing the pain or
masking it with sorrow and isolation? Are you running your train off the
rails with hurtful or destructive actions or thoughts? Understand that this
path cannot take away your feelings of loss. Allow yourself to express
whatever emotion holds true to your thoughts but do it in a positive way.
Reflect, forgive, cry, laugh. Being patient with yourself and allowing the
process to unfold naturally will help you move forward in the healing
process.
For more details on this subject or to have your personal questions
answered by a local expert, please email
experts@risingwomen.com
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