 Healing
Co-Dependency - Visualizing Solid Relationships
By Jan Mitchell of Expanding MindsDo you ask
yourself: “Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over? Why can’t I
stop hurting myself?” If you do, you are one of many people with
co-dependent behaviours. Co-dependency is a painful program running in your
mind. A program of learned, limiting beliefs and compulsive behaviours often
developed to help you handle problems during your childhood. Although hard
to understand, these programs were created with a positive purpose, often to
protect and care for you.
Co-dependency is a learned program that can be changed. Imagine your mind as
a computer with many programs running. Some of the programs work well, like
driving a car or dressing, and we leave them alone. Some of them cause
problems and need to be changed to get the results you want. Many people who
are co-dependent however, do not change. Reasons include not knowing what
they want, not knowing how to change to get what they want, even
indecisiveness about change. If you feel that you are co-dependent,
following are steps to help you recognize the patterns and initiate change
for the better:
1) Work on recognizing the painful “programs” you keep running with yourself
and with you relationships.
2) Clarify what you want to see in yourself and your relationships. This
trains your brain to move towards what you want. Write a goal statement that
is personal, powerful, positive and present, for example: “All my
relationships are loving, nurturing and fun.”
3) Think of what stops you. Write down limiting beliefs and fears as they
surface.
4) Change limiting beliefs into positive beliefs. Feeling unworthy may
become, “I am a Powerful and Worthy Woman.” Write out or tape each new
belief and review them daily. Try not to miss a day.
5) Imaging what you will see, hear and feel when you have what you want. For
example, I see myself smiling with friends, having fun, sharing, enjoying. I
hear laughing and talking. I feel content, connected, peaceful and loved.
Knowing what you want is an important step to directing your conscious and
unconscious mind towards it.
6) Commit to yourself and take the steps. Pick several things that feel
right to you, such as healing visualizations,, meditations, spirituality,
prayer, journaling, reading books, join support groups and take courses. Or
contact a therapists. If you have addictions, include a 12 step program.
Personalized Visualization: Personalized visualization is a
very effective approach to seeing, hearing and feeling your achieved goals.
Visualizations use your senses to change mental programs, beliefs and
behaviours. It helps you to use a combination of your senses, sight, sound,
touch, taste and smell to interpret your inner and outer world. Although you
use all of your senses, you have a “primary sense”: Visual, Auditory or
Kinaesthetic (feelings) . This primary sense runs your mental programs. When
visualizing, depending on your primary sense, you may not “see” pictures
clearly. Instead you may hear or sense more sounds, thoughts and words,
meaning your primary sense is Auditory. If you “feel” more during a
visualization, your primary sense is Kinaesthetic.
Visual people focus clearly by seeing black/white or color pictures and
movies in their mind’s eye. They often move, speak and act quickly. Imagine
lots of colourful pictures, add sounds and feelings. (60% of people are
primarily Visual, in our “visually” stimulated culture).
Auditory people hear internal thoughts, tones, words and music. They may
fine tune internal sounds to harmonize with them, then add pictures and
feelings. They are often bothered by loud or shrill sounds. (About 20% of
people are primarily Auditory).
Kinaesthetic people’s internal feelings move them. They learn by touching
and doing. They sometimes feel they don’t fit in the fast pace and are prone
to getting “stuck” in feelings. (About 20% of people are primarily
Kinaesthetic).
Releasing “Over-Connectedness” in Co-dependent Relationships:
This is a right brain exercise. Think of a person you are “over-connected”
with. See, hear, feel yourself in a room with them. Notice how you feel over
connected. Imagine the “over-connected feelings” as energy cords that are
connecting you to the other person. You may see, sense, hear or feel them.
Where are the energy cords attached to you and to the other person? Perhaps
heart, head, groin, arms or back.
Next, ask yourself, “What do I want from this person?” Keep asking until you
get answers such as love, respect, security, etc. Then, imagine a future
“Empowered You”, who already has all of the things you discovered you
wanted. Imagine disconnecting the cords from other person and immediately
reconnecting to the “Empowered You” image. See, hear, feel what it is like
to receive from the “Empowered You”. This is the you who loves you, guides
you and keeps you safe.
Finally, practice connect the other persons cords to themselves or their
“Empowered Self”. Here you are giving back their “emotional stuff” and
letting them go.
Neuro Science has discovered that by changing the pictures you see, thoughts
you think, and feelings you feel, you can believe in yourself and live your
dreams.
Jan Mitchell, Master NLP Therapist, combines visualization, Hypnosis,
Spiritual Healing & Reiki to empower you in your personal life, career,
relationships & spirituality. 403.225.2973.
www.expanding-minds.com |
