 Cloud
Of Denial -
Jumping Into The Cloud & Seeing What's There
By Devon Kirke of Tao-Te-Chi Health ServicesDe-nial…not
just a river in Egypt anymore!” Sadly this is how most of us look at Denial
as something akin to a joke; something not be taken seriously. Denial itself
however is very serious and it causes more problems for humanity than anyone
realizes. The reason for this is because of what Denial itself is…“the
ability to lie to ourselves and hide from ourselves something we wish not to
be true.”
What this means is that Denial hides from us the reality of a situation in
favour of a more pleasant lie. This is truthfully a survival mentality that
has evolved beyond survival requirements. What we try to hide from ourselves
we see as being harmful to our lives as a whole. As a result, the “Cloud of
Denial” then swoops in and hides the event(s) so we do not have to deal with
them. What we believe we are doing is making our lives easier to deal with
and cope with. The reality is that we are making our lives more unbearable
and harder to deal with.
The reason for this is that Denial is a lie. It does not stop us from doing
something; it only hides it from our conscious mind. This is why we call it
a cloud! It clouds our perceptions and hides the reality somewhere inside
where it still exists; hidden away where we hope it can not be seen. The
most common lie we tell ourselves every day is that “I am a good person.”
Most people may become offended with the idea that it is a lie…however, let
me explain first.
Most of us have an idea of what is right and wrong. This is not based on
facts and reality…merely perception. In this idea we believe that certain
things are right to do and certain things are wrong. Very simple in and of
itself, however the problem is in what we do with it afterwards. If I
believe that it is right that I am better than someone else then I, by that
same definition, am entitled to more than them. Again, not based on
reality…only perception!
If someone cuts in front of me in line I will evaluate them. They are rude,
grubby looking or millions of other such judgments. This in turn, being very
self-biased, will prompt me to become mad that they cut in front of me.
Regardless of the situation, even if it was justified or required, I will
become upset because of it. It really has nothing to do with the fact I was
cut off; it has everything to do with my sense of right and wrong. I do not
believe this person was worthy of cutting in front of me. This then triggers
my defences and the need to punish them. This is the reality behind road
rage, hostility, generalized anger and many others.
The problem is that, as I am sure many readers now feel, this is bad and
entirely unacceptable. Also for the same reason it violates our sense of
right and wrong. This however does not change the fact that we do it; and
when we do it we usually feel the same way and as a result out comes the
“Cloud of Denial” to hide it. With our sense of right and wrong comes an
idea of what we are “supposed” to do…things like be polite, be caring, kind
and supportive. Even when we do not want to do these things, our internal
programming says we have to. This internal conflict cases pain and confusion
within the mind and once again out comes the “Cloud”.
If it was this simple it would be somewhat tolerable. The problem is that we
know something happened. The “Cloud” can not erase anything, only hide it.
So we then have to come up with something to justify what happened, that
makes us innocent and the other person to be at fault. As you can imagine
this is not something “good” people would do…hence why the desire to be a
“Good Person” is denial based. We all do this exact thing every day. The
only exception to it is when there is someone whom we feel is better than
ourselves…such as the boss. This then adds a new level of confusion because
we can not blame them…so we have to come up with more elaborate lies to
justify everything.
As I hope you can see this is incredibly complex and way too complicated to
want to deal with. Sadly that desire does not make it any less true. This is
why at the beginning we said Denial causes so many problems. Each of the
lies we tell ourselves do not fade over time, they become bigger. Eventually
they reach a point they become so big that the Cloud of Denial simply can
not contain them anymore. When this happens our world can feel like it is
crumbling and falling apart. This is then further complicated because deep
down we know why it is all happening; deep down we wish it did not happen in
the first place. So out streams more Denial and the problems worsen.
In a true system of right and wrong we have the ability to do other things
than make people pay for their violation of our system. Which is the key to
determining if you have one or not? If you can honestly forgive people their
mistakes, do not feel you are required to punish others and generally are
willing to believe that everything that happens in life is not a personal
attack…then you likely have a real system of right and wrong set in your
mind. Anything else and it may be time to jump into the Cloud and see what’s
there.
Devon Kirke is the Founder of Tao-Te-Chi Health Services, is a
Certified Master Healer, Clairscientient & Spiritual Guide. Learn more
visit: www.tao-te-chi.com
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