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RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
Help! My primary relationship is no longer working. How can I fix it?
Women often say, “my relationship isn’t working. I love him but...”
1) Your relationship is not fulfilling your needs - Do you remember
the jokes about what a man needs verses what a woman needs? It’s funny
because it is based on truth. You have many needs and it is unrealistic to
expect them to be filled by one person. Build a positive support system.
2) You are not compatible - Different personality types deal with
up’s and down’s in diverse ways. Understand yourself and your partner with
this excellent book: Love...What’s Personality Got To Do With It? by
Carol Ritberger.
3) You feel unheard - Your partner is not a mind reader. Discover
what you want and communicate so your partner understands. Improve your
boundaries.
4) You do the emotional work - You notice what is lacking
emotionally. Men have a different emotional makeup and are often confused by
“women’s emotional needs”. Stop the “if he loves me he would...” Build a
support system, ask clearly for what you want, learn to get your needs
filled.
5) You do too much - Clean up boundary issues, develop self-
confidence, self-care and heal the past.
You “can not make” your partner change. Change is a choice. You want
changes? Change yourself and your perception. Many relationship issues are
quickly eliminated by overcoming blocks, fears and healing the past. You
will see yourself and the other person with more clarity and greater
empathy, you will untangle the “unhealthy web of co-dependence” and install
positive choices/boundaries.
Make three separate lists of the area’s that require work in yourself, your
partner and your relationship: confidence, boundaries, healing the past,
limiting beliefs, ways to “handle” negative emotions, support system,
self-care, communication, understanding, habits and behaviors. Check off
what is within your control to change. Destroy the list of your partners
issues that are out of your control to change. Focus on improving what you
can in yourself and enhancing the positive “we” in your relationship.
Next, list your positive qualities and what you bring to the relationship.
Write down your partners positive qualities and what he brings to the
relationship. Read these lists daily. Focus on the positive. Count your
blessings and enjoy life!
For techniques to help you “change”, contact Jan Mitchell, Master NLP
Counselor & Reiki Master of Expanding Minds at 403.225.2973
www.expanding-minds.com
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