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 RISING WOMEN EXPERT
ADVICE...
Mr. Really, Really Like You - Thoughts on the Quest to Finding Mr. Right
When the words “I really, really like you” were uttered from
the mouth of my 40 something year old man, I was struck by the childlike
expression on his face. Is this the man that just last night stole my heart?
The man who makes my heart skip a beat every time I hear his voice on the
telephone? This is the man that I find comfort in, the man who I am spending
my days and nights with, and who I am hoping will be “the one”.
And he “really, really” likes me...
But in absence of the real “L” word - yes that’s right “LOVE” - I am
wondering just exactly what does the interpretation of LIKE really, really
mean?
A girlfriend said it best: “I don’t need a liker, I need a lover!”
So is it possible to be “really, really liked” and yet feel totally and
completely fulfilled in a relationship set with this parameter? I know that
the feminine wants to completely surrender to a trustworthy partner. Does
really, really liking someone create the trust that is required to do this?
This lack of emotion and depth does not complete the circle required to
reach fulfilment.
Certainly there is a time when using the word “like” is a more realistic
statement, such as when you are buying your new shoes and you shout out “I
really, really like these!” Or when you are selecting a four course meal and
you say “I really like the Chicken Cordon Bleu but I really, really like the
Beef Wellington!”
How about trying to decide on which new vehicle to purchase? The salesman is
doing his best to describe the features and benefits of a particular model
and all you are thinking is that you “really, really like the red one!”
Perhaps choosing the options is more of a decision for you. Should you
choose the moon roof or the leather interior? Which one is more important to
you? Which one do you really, really like? Is this what your man is saying?
In essence, is he stating that he prefers you over another type of woman or
is this a statement that he’s “just not that into you.”
I am okay with an “I LIKE YOU” statement in the first weeks of a new
relationship but the natural progression and the most natural state for us
all is to be in “LOVE”.
A man who is unable to easily move from a “like statement” to an “I LOVE
YOU” is emotionally unavailable to meet you in Loveland. As a woman you will
be constantly waiting for this man to make his move and when you can’t wait
anymore you start placing little hints. Hints like, “I really, really like
you too, do you want to move in together?” Or, “I really, really like you;
oh don’t you think that baby is beautiful?” His commitment to loving you is
strictly on his terms. He is more likely to spend time in front of the
television or working out with his buddies than wanting to be in your
presence, unless of course you are totally sending your feminine energy his
way and he is feeling the heat. The radiance of the feminine is the most
powerful elixir on the planet. This is something that he just simply cannot
resist.
Perhaps your man feels threatened by your depth and capacity to fully love
and although he is totally attracted to those qualities he is also repelled
because he knows that it is uncomfortable there sometimes.
Relationships naturally will cause us to hit the wall on occasion which
provides an opportunity to grow. Have you chosen to be with this man because
he is unwilling to move forward into a committed relationship?
Perhaps this is a safe place for you. You are definitely providing a space
for this man to grow, but ask yourself if this is just another example of
someone who you have chosen “to fix”. Probably not consciously but there is
an element here to watch for and that is that we will always attract someone
who matches us at the depth we are at right now. So if you have attracted
this man into your life, what gifts is he allowing you to see about yourself
right now?
Do you REALLY want to share your time and energy with someone who is safe,
who is not at this time willing to step into the throes of relationship
completely and fully with you? Remember that every relationship provides
both partners with opportunity to see the positive and negative sides of
themselves and each other. You deserve the best that LOVE may bring. Choose
to be with a partner that is completely committed to you and to building a
life together that may be for just for a short while or forever.
The feminine is loyal, loving and fully willing to give. We need to create a
space for receiving the same love in return. If you are looking at your
relationship and wondering about your choices, maybe you just needed a man
for the touch and masculine energy that he provides to balance out your
feminine on the path to Mr. Right. And perhaps you are just in the midst of
settling for Mr. Right Now!
Brenda Baranec owns Heartworks Massage & BodySpa in Lake Bonavista.
Her study of relationships has been developed over the past 12 years on her
own personal journey to find Mr. Right.
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