 Love
Japanese Style - Our Own Special "Ladies" Day
By Michelle Praught
Well, it is Valentine’s
again...that time of year when Cupid strikes and love is in the air. Roses, chocolate and
Valentine cards abound. But, did you know that in another country love strikes not once,
but twice?
The Land of the Rising Sun celebrates the festival of love twice per
year. Before February 14th Japanese women flock to department stores of the highest
quality to buy their paramours the latest in Valentine goods. Oh, did I say paramours? It
doesn’t end there. They also buy for fathers, grandfathers, uncles, male cousins,
teachers, their co-workers, and bosses. What a list!
Now, let us talk about the gifts that are received by the men. Of
course, chocolate is a perennial favourite, but not just any chocolate. The Japanese have
a discerning palette and nothing but the best Belgian Chocolate will do! After chocolate
there are always the ties, socks, tie clips, lapel pins, handkerchiefs (embroidered silk,
thank you very much!), and other assorted notions. How do the women make their choices? In
Japanese society choice is made by rank, not by feeling. So, although the ladies may love
their boyfriends and husbands dearly, the boss will get the best of the best. After all he
is the head of the “family”. Japanese society views the workplace to be the
surrogate family and often comes before the biological or marital family, so it is only
fitting that the boss should receive silk handkerchiefs and Belgian Chocolate. The
boyfriend or husband can suffice with a tie.
It seems that from what I have said that February 14th is all about the
men. Well, as a matter of fact, it is! Women do not receive any gifts on this day.
Needless to say when I spent my first Valentines Day in Japan I was whole heartedly
disappointed when my male coworkers were loading up on chocolates, socks, handmade cards,
letters of unrequited love and more invitations for lunches and dinners than any of us had
time or stomachs for! So, where in this milieu do the women fit in?
March 14th celebrates White Day. The female equivalent of Valentines
Day in Japan occurs one month after St. Valentine’s Day. Oh just the imagery itself
is beautiful. Store displays of white clothing, white teddy bears and chocolate, lingerie,
dainty gloves for cocktail parties or Cherry Blossom Parties that will be up and coming!
Now the question is, who receives all these lovely gifts? The pecking order is not at all
the same as the men since we are dealing with a patriarchal society, so the grandmothers,
mothers, wives, girlfriends and other significant female role models will benefit.
Notice I mentioned lingerie? Do men even shop for lingerie in any
society? Well, perhaps that is not at all unusual, but the receiver of this gift could be.
Let me explain. After my crushing disappointment at my first Japanese Valentine’s day
I found out that the “ladies” day would soon follow, much to my delight. So, I
waited patiently and come March 14th I was not entirely disappointed, but shocked beyond
my wildest dreams.
As a teacher I was on the list of “receivers”. With a bit of
a springier, anticipatory step, I headed into my first class at an electronics factory. We
conducted class as usual, and at the end I was given a beautifully decorated (as are all
Japanese gifts) box. I asked if I should open it up and the class of all male students
grinned happily. So, following careful protocol I cautiously opened up my first White Day
gift. Several pairs of white panties presented themselves to me. The chief officer
explained that his wife picked them with great care and caution to detail since I was a
teacher. Silk, embroidered, purchased from the most expensive department store in the
city. I was, needless to say, taken aback! Imagine panties for your first gift of the day.
The rest of my day progressed in much the same fashion. White leather gloves, although
beautiful to look at, were highly impractical and cost the students a small fortune. White
cotton hankies for hot summer days. Beautifully handwritten cards on sterling white paper
that now, many years after the fact, have turned dusky brown from the years.
So, what can I say about “Love Japanese Style”? Well, I grew
accustomed to the “traditional” gifts of slinky undies and dainty lace hankies.
However, I never was able to fully fathom the idea of a Valentine’s Day and a White
Day, particularly when my Canadian partner could not buy me my
“Valentine’s” flowers because as the store clerk informed him, “It is
on March 14th not February 14th. February 14th is for MEN only!” Some of my more
cynical students blamed the chocolate factories for creating extra revenue for themselves
by creating an extra holiday. I must admit I agreed with them, but now having been away
from Japan for several years I rather miss the excitement and anticipation of having my
own special “ladies” day.
Michelle Praught holds a BA in Cultural Anthropology &
Sociology with an emphasis on Japanese Culture, as well as a TESL/TEFL Teaching
Certificate. She spent five years living & working in Japan teaching English &
training teachers. Michelle is now pursuing a Masters degree at the University of Calgary.
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