 Life Lessons For Women - Essential Ingredients for
a Balanced Life
By Stephanie Marston
Life Lesson #1: Remember What’s Important - One
of the cornerstones of living a high quality of life is to know what we value and to know
what is most meaningful in our lives. Yet when our lives are all about completing the
millions of tasks on our “to do” lists, we often lose our perspective. We lose
our ability to discern between what is important and what is not, since everything seems
equally urgent, equally critical.
No matter how frantic life gets, truly successful people are able to
rise above the pandemonium and maintain their perspective. They can do this because they
know what is important. Their values are their compass. Their values keep them on course,
regardless of the confusion of life. These people maintain a vision of what truly matters,
what their life is about and what they want it to be.
Think about the qualities and attributes that you consider essential to
living your best life. These are the values you use to define yourself. For example, your
list could include such attributes as: integrity, honesty, playfulness, understanding,
trustworthiness, responsibility, truth, creativity and adventurousness. Remember these are
just a few suggestions. There are many more possibilities. Be sure you come up with a list
that reflects your core values -- not what you think you should value, but what you feel
is truly important to you.
By clarifying your values, you can adjust your life so that you invest
your time and energy in those things you hold sacred. Asking yourself questions about
values, priorities, and deeper desires will not only help you understand yourself on a
deeper level, but ultimately refocus your life around what is truly meaningful to you. It
is actually less important to understand the meaning of life, than it is to understand the
meaning of your life.
Now that you have a clearer picture of what you consider to be
important ask yourself, “What do I need to change in order to have my values
expressed more visibly in my everyday life? Is there anything I need to add to my life?
Are there activities or commitments I need to eliminate?”
I offer you this challenge -- remain focused on who you truly are, what
you believe in, and what you love. As you do, you will begin to create a life in which
your outer life matches the values and beliefs that you hold more deeply. This holistic
feeling is an essential ingredient in living the life you were meant to live.
Life Lesson #2: Evaluate Your Priorities - The
French philosopher René Descartes said, “I think. Therefore, I am.” Our modern
day version has become, “I do. Therefore, I am.” So many of us live by the
mantras, “I have to keep up,” “I am what I do,” “I have to push
myself,” “I have to prove my worth” and, “I have to keep going.”
While many of you thought that you left peer pressure back in the halls of high school, it
is still very much in operation in our adult lives.
Many women have one clear priority - to get through the day. Sure, no
one will deny the importance of that. But it simply is not enough. Many women go through
life on autopilot. You rarely stop long enough to consider how you spend your time and
energy. Yet, without determining whether your priorities match your reality and your
values, you will continually be out of synch with yourself.
Living a priority-centered life means balancing responsibilities to
others with responsibility to oneself; obligations with enjoyment, work with play, and
activity with rest. It means finding a natural rhythm to one’s day-to-day life that
will support an atmosphere of fulfillment. It means getting your priorities straight.
Think of a typical day and a typical week. Think about how you spend
your time. Ask yourself: How much time do I devote to my family? What about health and
fitness? Religious or spiritual practice? Work? Personal interests and hobbies? Social
time? Finances? Friendships? The categories you choose may look somewhat different from
these, so feel free to customize them to reflect your life. Make a list, putting what gets
the most amount of your time at the top and the least amount of your time at the bottom.
How you spend your time will identify your priorities.
You may be surprised to discover that there is a discrepancy between
what you thought your priorities were and what they actually are. It is time to be honest
with yourself and see what your life is telling you. Is your life balanced? Are you
overextended in one area? Is there an area that you are neglecting? What percentage of
your time is devoted to caring for others? What percentage is spent caring for yourself
and doing things you love? Are you in synch with your core values? Are there any
adjustments you need to make so that your life more closely reflects your values?
One of the greatest challenges women face is balancing the wishes and
expectations of other people, especially your family, with your own needs and desires. You
must hold your priorities sacred. You must invest your time and energy in what you value.
You have to commit yourself to make time for what is important every single day.
Ask yourself every day. “Is this what I want to be doing?” If
the answer is “No,” you can alter your course a little each day. Changing course
is a process. It happens slowly and incrementally. But if you are persistent, you will end
up where you want to be.
Stephanie Marston is an internationally published author &
acclaimed speaker. Her books include “Chicken Soup for the Soul’s Life Lessons
for Women” & “If Not Now, When? Reclaiming Ourselves at Midlife.”
Please visit her website at: www.stephaniemarston.com
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