 Be Your
Own Coach - Mining Your Values - Part 2
By Maureen Motter-Hogdson & Judy Turner
What’s important to you? What’s not important? How and
when do you decide to take a stand on something, even when it’s uncomfortable or hard
to do?
It’s when our values are clear. Our values are the very essence of
who we really are. They reflect what really matters most to us and are linked to our
behaviour and actions. They are the ‘gas’ in our lives as they drive the
decisions we make, what we choose to do, and how we choose to be. They are intangible;
they are not something we do or have. For instance, we may love to travel; however
travelling is not a value. It is an activity that may honour our values of adventure,
learning, and fun.
What does it mean to live our values? A woman may list
‘family’ as her number one value and have a goal of spending more time with
them. However, in reality she spends a great deal more time with her friends or working.
By contrast, another woman also lists ‘family’ as her number one value and does
spend a great deal of her time with them. What is the difference between these two women?
It is how aware they are of their true values and how aligned their actions are with those
values. It may also be the way they ‘interpret’ the value. It is possible one
has put a value on ‘family’ because she thinks it’s the socially expected
thing to do.
How do we know what our values are? Can you write down your top five
values? Remember that values are the essence of who we are. Knowing and understanding what
our values really are is the first step to living a fulfilling, rich life. They help us to
live a life where we are connected to what really matters to us. For example, look at the
following values: freedom, authenticity, humour, service, connectedness, integrity,
nurturing. How do you interpret what each word means for you? What actions would
demonstrate to you that these values are being lived?
Let’s find out. We’re inviting you to do an exercise right
now that comes from some of Ken Blanchard’s work. This exercise may help you gain
greater clarity about what you really value. It will be much more worthwhile if you
complete it AS you read it, not AFTER you read it. Do not continue until you are ready.
•Part 1: Write down 15 things that you really love to do in your
life. Examples are:
- Watching a beautiful sunset.
- Going to the movies.
- Playing with your child.
•Part 2: Go back over your list of 15 things and:
- Identify what things on your list require money and place a dollar
sign ($) next to it.
- Place a ‘P’ beside any of the things on your list that
requires someone else to be there for you to enjoy it.
- Put a date next to the last time you did each activities.
•Part 3: Go back over your list and begin to identify 5 of your
values. Ask yourself what it is about each activity that speaks to a core value that you
hold? Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I living according to what I say I value?
- How fully am I living each value… on a scale of 1-10?
- How aligned are my actions to these values?
- Where do I live by these values and where do I simply talk about them?
- If I lived my life in greater alignment to my values, how might it be more fulfilling?
- What surprised me about this exercise?
- What new insight did I get from doing this exercise?
- What did I learn about myself?
- What will I do differently now?
- How will I be different now?
Remember that it is harder for some of us to actually do the writing
down and listing, so don’t let your ‘gremlins’ get you if you are
challenged a bit. Spend time truly contemplating each part of the exercise.
Watch for Part 3 of ‘Be Your Own Coach’ in the May/June issue
of Rising Women Magazine.
Maureen Motter-Hodgson & Judy Turner are Certified
Professional Co-active Coaches trained through The Coaches Training Institute, (CTI). They
co-facilitate a one-day workshop entitled ‘Be Your Own Coach.’ Contact Judy at
403.720.2715 or Maureen at 403.217.0564 or visit www.radiantcoaching.com or www.kairoscoaching.com |
