 Be Your
Own Coach - Taming Your Gremlin - Part 1
By Maureen Motter-Hogdson & Judy Turner
Have you ever started to make movement towards
change, and suddenly a little voice in
your head starts talking and stops you dead in your tracks? Welcome to the Gremlin - the
inner critic, the skeptic, the saboteur, the negative chatterbox. Regardless of what you
call it, the Gremlin remains a voice that can immobilize us and keep us from leading the
rich, full life we really want.
So, what are some truths about Gremlins? Well, first of all you’re
not alone in having them, everyone does. In fact, the Gremlin’s job is to have you
play it ‘safe and comfortable’' and avoid any change! But the good news is once
you’re aware of Gremlins you have a choice of how you will deal with them.
How do you know you’re in prime Gremlin territory? Heard these
voices before?
“You can’t.”
“You should…” or, “You shouldn’t…”
“This is just the way it is. You can’t change it.”
“You don’t deserve…”
“You must…”
“You don’t have enough time, money…”
“Don’t rock the boat…”
“Go faster, work harder.”
The Gremlin has no interest in being coached! How does your Gremlin
hold you back from feeling good and enjoying yourself? Your Gremlin wants you to waste
time and energy by worrying or by knocking yourself out trying to change people and
strategies. Where does it make you fearful to take risks? Prevent you from thinking big?
Stop you from living the 'juicy' life you want to live? Recognise your Gremlin? Now, you
have a choice. You can choose to listen to the Gremlin, believe it and stay stuck. Or,
with a few concrete suggestions and a commitment to yourself, try something different. You
can coach yourself and take some concrete action steps to begin to tame your Gremlin.
Awareness is the first key to ‘Gremlin Tamification.’ We are
asking you to actually do the following steps to become more aware of your Gremlin and
begin to tame it. Don't just read the steps; choose to do them.
First, notice it. Become aware of what your Gremlin is really saying to
you, the negative self-talk. What is the voice in your head saying and when is it
noisiest? Now, you have choices. First, you can choose to ignore it. Second, you can
change its negative message to a positive one. Third, you can ‘personify’ it by
giving it a name like Tricky Theresa, Whining Willie, Fearful Freddie, or Ugly Ursula.
Fourth, draw a picture of your Gremlin and see how it really looks. Keep it on your desk
or in your wallet so you’re reminded when it's talking and not you. One of our
favorite Gremlin strategies is to send it to Starbucks for a coffee while you get on with
what you really want to do!
Next, give your Gremlin its full voice. Is the Gremlin giving you
reasons why you ‘should not’ do something you’ve already decided to move
forward on? Then, give it permission to vent and clear for five minutes so it gets it out
its system. Your job is to listen and write everything down that your Gremlin is saying.
Once you’ve written it down, you can usually easily ‘refute’ what it’s
saying by coming up with evidence to the contrary. Often, clients will tell us how
ludicrous the Gremlin’s message really is. The act of writing it down makes it
clearer to you how untrue the message is. Try it right now.
Last, get very clear about what you really want in your life.
What is the essence of you; your core values and beliefs? How are you honouring those
values in your life, and how are you not? Once you’ve gained clarity on your values,
your Gremlin will have less hold on you. Because you are clear on what is important to
you, you are able to be at greater choice around the things you really ‘want’ to
do, as opposed to the things you ‘should’ do.
For other taming strategies, we recommend reading Richard Carson’s
book, Taming the Gremlin.
Maureen Motter-Hodgson & Judy Turner are Certified
Professional Co-active Coaches trained through The Coaches Training Institute, (CTI). They
co-facilitate a one-day workshop entitled ‘Be Your Own Coach.’ Contact Judy at
403.720.2715 or Maureen at 403.217.0564 or visit www.radiantcoaching.com or www.kairoscoaching.com |
