 Make
Me See Stars - A Woman's Right to Great Sex - Part 1
By Deneise Reid of Self Expression
Remember the golden age of television, when Desi wouldn’t dare pat Lucy’s butt
as she walked by? My, how times have changed! Have you seen the lineup of shows on the TV
lately? There is Will & Grace, Nip/Tuck and even The Bachelor - all screaming
sexuality as a prime time subject matter. Amazing, isn’t it? Not so much the content
of these programs, but the way in which the media has evolved over the last few years.
Sexual expression is now portrayed as an issue that should no longer be hidden. Ten years
ago, we would not have been able to tune into Sex and the City - a show that brings the
topic of female sexuality way out into the open!
The popularity of these programs begs the question: are women finally
ready to acknowledge their sexuality? These shows simply voice an opinion that, until now,
has largely been unspoken in our society. It is time for women’s sexual issues to be
recognized.
It is no longer headline news that study after study have concluded
that the majority of women feel their sex lives could be improved. According to the
experts, at least half of all the women you know are not seeing fireworks or, for that
matter, even fireflies. The real tragedy is that 15% of all women have never experienced
an orgasm.
What are they missing, anyway? An orgasm is defined as: “The peak
of sexual excitement when all the muscles that were tightened during arousal relax,
causing a very pleasurable feeling.” Put more simply, orgasms just feel great.
Imagine the best chocolate sundae you’ve ever had, multiply that by 100, and you
start to get the general idea.
Orgasms have verified health benefits, including stress reduction,
alleviation of menstrual cramps and increased blood flow to the rest of the body. Add to
the list antidepressant benefits, lowered cholesterol and better sleep and you realize
that sexual fulfillment is about more than just a pleasurable sensation. Further, research
has proven that orgasm is physically possible for every woman to attain. Women should not
accept anything less than sexual joy and pleasure in their lives!
Sexual health is now widely recognized in the medical community as an
important component of overall physical and psychological welfare. Now, let’s take it
a step further and incorporate that awareness into our own lives. Let’s stand up and
take responsibility for our complete well-being.
Sex is a celebration of the human body - and sexual pleasure is a
birthright. So why aren’t we all exercising that right? The reasons are diverse and
include ignorance, disappointment, embarrassment, a failure to communicate, and religious,
societal and social expectations. Often, as women, we hide sadness, frustration or anger
because we think it is wrong to admit we have these feelings about our sexuality. In an
effort to become physically and emotionally fit, we work out regularly, watch what we eat,
get our nails and hair done, attend women’s conferences, and read the latest books.
But the fact is, one of the most important components of physical, emotional and spiritual
health is the recognition and acknowledgement of our sexuality - and yet this component is
often overlooked.
The New Age catch phrase of ‘being present’ has never been
more applicable. If we are going to lead full lives; if we are going to reach our
potential as physical, emotional and spiritual beings; if we are going to give ourselves
permission to experience the freedom to be fulfilled, it is essential that we be present -
show up and own our sexuality (thank you, Oprah!). Once you own your sexuality, give it a
voice! Allow yourself to experience pleasure.
‘Loving yourself’ may be an overused cliché, but in practical
terms it’s not about dreamily gazing into the mirror and saying, “I love
me.” It is about being aware of your shortcomings and especially your potential.
It’s about making decisions that allow you realize that you have value, and making
choices that make you feel good about being you.
In the second part of this three-part series, we will explore practical
methods for achieving sexual well-being which can be incorporated into a life of
physiological health and psychological wellness.
Deneise Reid of SELF Expression, is a sexuality coach who
helps women reach their full potential of sexual fulfilment & freedom of expression.
Individual sessions & group seminars are available. 403.277.6051 www.risingwomen.com/selfexpression
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