 HOW YOU CAN WIN
WITH NEGOTIIATION
By Janis Magnuson of Magnuson Mediation Group
Is there a businessperson alive that hasn't been bombarded with the phrase 'win/win
negotiation'? Is there anyone else who'd like to shriek if she/he hears it again? Or, ban
it from print, as I know one editor did…
Although the phrase may seem cliché, it's hard to find a replacement
to describe a process where the intent really is for those involved to come out feeling
like ALL have succeeded in achieving their desired results. Personally, I prefer to call
this 'mutual gain' negotiation.
A negotiation occurs any time there are two or more parties (which
could be individuals, organizations or businesses) that each have something the other
party wants. If there isn't a mutual desire, there's no negotiation (e.g. "I want to
sell you this vacuum cleaner." "No thanks, don't need one".) As soon as
there is a mutual desire, there is an opportunity for negotiation, which really is a give
and take process (e.g. "I want to sell you this vacuum cleaner." "Yes, I
need one, let's talk".) It's give and take.
Some people get carried away with the 'take' part of the process and
forget that there's a 'give' part, too. These are often highly competitive negotiators who
are far more concerned with getting the maximum result for themselves and care little
about the relationship. (I sometimes call these folks the T-Rexs of the negotiation
world.) Contrast that with folks who are so concerned with preserving the relationship and
avoiding conflict that they will give up results and get a poor deal to keep good
feelings. (I sometimes think of these folks as doormats as in, "Can I lay down any
flatter for you to walk on me?")
What we want is a balance between give and take - we want mutual gains.
I'll compare and contrast this mutual gain process to another type of negotiation that
I'll refer to as 'positional bargaining'. Positional bargaining is typical in many
business situations and in many cases accepted as the norm. A party involved in positional
bargaining will typically review the situation, decide what outcome she/he wants and then
state their desired outcome (their position) to the other party. Sometimes it is stated
softly as an offer, (e.g. "I'd like to buy your business for $x."), other times
as a demand, (eg. "Sell me your business for $x or we'll go head-to-head with
you.").
What happens next is each side then attempts to persuade, cajole,
sometimes threaten the other to accept what has been offered. It's an argument about
solutions. In many cases, people will compromise - split the difference. I sometimes say
those negotiations end when both sides walk away equally unhappy! This is not to say that
compromise is always bad, there are times when it is the most appropriate resolution.
What is missing in the positional bargaining process that is of prime
importance in the mutual gains or (dare I say it) win/win negotiation is time spent on the
parties' real concerns. What are the real issues that underlie the proposed solutions?
What is REALLY motivating them?
In mutual gains negotiating, you have to
understand what the other party would like to achieve as well as knowing what YOU want to
achieve. That way, you can then craft an agreement that meets both parties' needs. That's
why it's called win/win - "I get what I want and you get what you want as long as our
goals are not in direct conflict with each other."
In mutual gains negotiating, much time is spent asking questions. That
is how you find out what's really important to the other side. Think about the last
negotiation you were involved in. Who was asking questions and who was listening?
A good negotiator knows how to ask the right questions and, most
importantly, she/he LISTENS to the answers!! You'll figure out exactly how to structure a
deal to make it most attractive to the other side if you just ask appropriately and then
be quiet. This is when you are well advised to remember why you have one mouth and two
ears!
A good negotiator is a master at extracting relevant information from
the other party. He/she knows his/her own concerns and priorities, compares them to the
other parties' needs and concerns and can then determine if a deal is possible. And then,
as the song says, "ya gotta know when to fold", because sometimes no deal is the
best deal.
Janis, a negotiation coach and mediator, provides one-on-one coaching as well
as negotiation workshops. She is a Registered Family Mediator and a past president of
Alberta Family Mediation Society. She can be reached at Magnuson Mediation Group, 403 262
9200 or by email at JLM@Magnusonmediation.com
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