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Key to Weight Loss - A Step Toward Resolving Inner ConflictBy Kim Buck of What Have You Got To Loose! With any change you want to make, there is always a conflict going on inside your head. If you want to lose weight, you need to understand and resolve your inner conflict. This conflict is between the conscious mind -- the part of your thinking that you are aware of, and the subconscious mind -- the part you that are unaware of. Consciously, you may be saying, “I want to lose weight. I’m fat and I hate myself.” This desire to lose weight will only happen if your sub-conscious mind agrees. If your subconscious mind is saying, “There is no way I’m letting go of this extra weight,” then the body won’t let it go. The sub-conscious desire always wins and this sets up the inner conflict. In order to lose weight, the conscious mind and the sub-conscious mind have to be in agreement. Why would the sub-conscious mind not want to make the desired change if the conscious mind wanted to? The answer is that the sub-conscious mind knows the real reasons for the extra weight. Extra weight isn’t about eating too much or exercising too little. In fact, a significant number of overweight people don’t overeat and they do exercise regularly. Following the “diet and exercise” rules has little impact on permanent weight loss. Weight problems are all about power and control. That is, people with weight problems feel powerless and out of control. Weight is a way for them to feel a sense of power and have something they fully control. People have complete and total control over their weight at a sub-conscious level and the body hangs on to extra weight with great determination until the person starts feeling personal power and control. It may seem strange to think that people have complete and total control over their weight when they feel so out of control being overweight. However, no one can force people to let their weight go; only they control when it is time to release it. Louise Hay, in her book, “The Power is Within You”, says that when you feel frightened or insecure, you pad yourself with a layer of safety. She goes on to say that weight has nothing to do with food and that most people spend a lifetime being angry at themselves for being fat. Instead of being angry, realize that there is something going on in your life that is making you feel unsafe and insecure. This could be anything. It could be you partner or spouse, your parents, your work, your sexuality or your life in general. If you are overweight, stop obsessing about food as the culprit and focus instead on the pattern that says, “I need protection because I am insecure.” This is the source of the inner conflict. Our cells respond to this message. When the need for protection is gone, or when we start feeling secure, powerful and in control, the fat melts off. An excellent way to determine your inner conflict is by doing the “Interview With the Vampires” activity. Roberta Van Riet of Creation Principle Productions developed the activity to help you uncover all of the real reasons you have for not letting go of your weight. Take a blank sheet of paper and write your weight loss goal at the top of the paper in present tense as though you have already achieved it. For example, say you currently weigh 200 pounds and your ideal weight is 140 pounds, you would write, “I weigh 140 pounds.” Next, below this statement, write every negative thought that comes to mind. Your thoughts may go something like this, “Who am I to weigh 140 pounds?” “Nothing I do makes a difference.” “I feel vulnerable at 140 pounds. Too many people will notice me.” “If I am at my ideal weight, people will be jealous of me.” “I don’t feel safe around men when I weigh less.” Continue writing down what comes to mind. If you feel stuck and nothing is coming to you, read the statement at the top of the page again. Read it over and over if you need to. Don’t write down anything positive because it isn’t true. If positive things are coming out, your mind is trying to trick you. If you already felt positive about your goal, you would be achieving it. Don’t analyze your thoughts, judge them or try to change them into something positive. You want to uncover what you truly believe about your consciously stated goal. Be honest with yourself and let the thoughts flow. You need to acknowledge all of your negative thoughts, especially the really ugly ones. Until you express the negative thoughts and beliefs around what you want, these thoughts and beliefs will always have power and control over you. Once you have written down all of the negative thoughts, review the list for similarities and circle them. For example, you may have written down in several different ways that you don’t deserve to be slim and happy or that you feel unsafe weighing less or whatever. These are your personal vampires that are keeping you trapped in your overweight, unhappy state. These vampires are the reasons why you can’t let your weight go no matter what you try to do. Now, consider each vampire and write their statements out on separate sheets of paper. Evaluate each one. Is the statement your truth? Is it someone else’s belief? Are the fears real? Are you really undeserving of happiness? Once you expose your beliefs to objective evaluation, they lose their power and control over you. Now that you have a clearer understanding of your inner conflict concerning your weight, you can see why your consciously stated goal of “I want to lose weight” wasn’t happening no matter what you did. Start resolving your real reasons for your weight and you will let it go forever. Kim Buck owns & facilitates What Have You Got to Lose!TM - the weight loss program that focuses exclusively on releasing the emotional reasons behind weight. Please visit www.whathaveyougottolose.ca |