 Work On Yourself
and Your Business Success Will Follow
By Nicole Attias How can you succeed
as a business professional if you don’t have a handle on your own personal life? On
the surface, you walk into an important meeting with confidence, dressed in an elegant
suit, wearing shiny shoes. Your smile and upright posture indicate that you’re glad
to be there and learn more about the prospective client; however, something happens when
your conversation begins. As you answer unexpected questions and discuss issues relating
to your unique area of expertise, your emotional baggage surfaces. There’s no way to
hide the core of who you are.
Many corporate professionals introduce themselves by displaying all the
“right” behaviors; they project their voice with confidence; they offer a firm
handshake and provide useful materials to the recipient. However, these are superficial or
“surface” behaviors. In reality, these individuals have a thick brick wall
around them. They refuse to open up and show who they really are. On the other hand, there
are those professionals who drag around their emotional baggage everywhere they go,
without even realizing it. While they genuinely want to succeed at what they do, they have
negative feelings or low self-esteem issues. There is no way to hide behind their surface
behaviors when they open their mouth to communicate. Their feelings come through. Both
scenarios are unhealthy, and certainly won’t increase profits in the long run.
It doesn’t matter how amazing your business ideas are. It
doesn’t matter if you’ve effectively researched your competitor and know your
target market. It doesn’t matter how capable and intelligent you are. All of this
means absolutely nothing if you don’t feel good about who you are. How can you build
a business effectively if your mother still controls you when you visit home? How can you
interact effectively with clients, knowing that you have strong communication skills in
every situation other than at home with your spouse? The only way to take your business to
the next or any other level, is to work on yourself first. We’ve all heard the
example of the man who respects his boss, fulfills his job duties the best way he can, but
then freaks out at his children when he gets home. They’re this person’s
“outlet” for repressed anger and emotions.
Whatever the case may be, success comes from personal awareness and
continued self-analysis and development. Perhaps no one taught you how to behave in a
mature way, while growing up. Train yourself now. Perhaps you were raised in a hostile
environment where there were disagreements around you and your true feelings were
secondary. Make your feelings primary now. Perhaps today is your day to wake up.
The first step in releasing emotional baggage is to recognize its
there. Mentally remove yourself from the situation and take notice of your loved ones
behavior; look at how friends and family communicate and respond to you. Do they praise
you or give you a hard time about your personal or professional choices? Now look at how
you respond back. Do you take negative comments to heart or do you ignore them and find
others to support your desired goals? If you take time to do this exercise (and it might
not be fun) you will certainly wake up to what’s really going on. In most cases,
you’ll find that you’ve allowed others to place their own baggage and
insecurities upon you. Loved ones are comfortable with the status quo -- you’re not.
If you were, you wouldn’t be here. A true entrepreneur challenges the status quo. A
true entrepreneur opens his eyes to new possibilities around him and appreciates creative
ideas, education and helping others. This is the essence of a true leader.
An entrepreneur is on the journey of self-development; this can be one
of the most difficult and rewarding adventures at the same time. Lasting success takes
time, courage, recognition of behavior patterns and personal reflection. This step cannot
be avoided. It will reappear until you deal with yourself. Healing comes from within.
Believing strongly in what you do and who you are is a necessary element of success. Our
society teaches us to compartmentalize ourselves into artificial roles. Roles will
eventually break down if there is no solid base. The “lawyer” who appears
successful on the outside by behaving in all the “right” ways, will eventually
break down.
Because you’re an entrepreneur, playing the game of the “big
fish” out there, you must find supporters and handle negative comments by remembering
who you are and remaining calm inside. Dreams take time to develop. When asked the
question, “What made you so successful in ......?”, approximately 90% of
professionals state, “I started doing X, but I fell into Y.” Perhaps those close
to you genuinely don’t see what you see. Perhaps you have a greater vision and this
threatens their sense of self. To be gentle with them, you must first be gentle with
yourself.
Now picture yourself as the leading actor or actress in a movie.
You’re watching yourself interact with the ‘good guys’ and the ‘bad
guys’. What do you like about yourself in these two scenarios? What would you like to
change? Imagine how you can transform your personal and professional life by simply
reacting better to others with ongoing practice. A huge part of success comes from
effective communication skills. Teach yourself to be an effective communicator in all
situations, not just in business. Imagine how this will impact all areas of your life, not
to mention your finances.
Nicole Attias is a communication-skills trainer who interviews
various professionals, writes strong articles about them & gets these compositions
published internationally. She also coaches individuals in the area of
presentation-skills, networking & business writing. Call 416.221.0817 or email: nicoleattias@aol.com |
