 Work
Relationships - 5 Steps to Leading From Within
By Peter Urs Bender These are
four of the most common ways of dealing with interpersonal difficulties: blow up, pass it
on, stuff it or get even. Maybe it’s finding out that a major client has bounced a
cheque or an employee who’s “I-don’t-care-attitude” is turning off
customers. Or maybe it’s the backbiting and office politics that is so troubling.
Whatever the source, the frustration it triggers is like an
“office cancer.” It eats away at your office spirit, decays your work
relationships, saps motivation, reduces work satisfaction and wreaks havoc in your body --
through stress, ulcers and more ugly stuff.
Each of the four choices above is a temporary coping mechanism; but
none is an effective, long-term solution. So let’s look at another option for coping
with these situations. I call it “leadership from within.”
Five steps to being a better leader:
1) Know Yourself - This is where your personal power,
creativity and ability to make a difference begins. Each action you take starts a ripple
through your organization. If you “slam dunk” someone, they’ll probably
treat others the same way. If you treat people with respect and value, they’ll value
themselves more and others too. It’s simply the old golden rule.
According to management consultants Tony Alessandra and Michael
O’Conner, there is also something called the “Platinum Rule”: Treat others
the way you would like to be treated. For example, if you telephone someone (a co-worker,
supplier, client) who works or speaks at a slow pace, don’t come at them like
you’re running the 100 metre final in the Olympics. Slow down. Or, vice-versa; speed
up for someone who’s going faster than you are. Neither one is right or wrong.
It’s simply a way to improve communication, show respect and build rapport.
2) Have a Vision - How do you want your office to be?
More productive, energetic and alive? People taking initiative and working
enthusiastically with others? So enjoyable that you look forward to coming back tomorrow?
If that seems pie in the sky, it’s because we’ve accepted office mediocrity or
frustration as a way of life. But it’s not; it’s a slow way of death. Frustrated
with work relationships? Do something about it. Ask yourself how you’d like it to be.
Choose a different vision. Then share it with people. They’ll think you’re crazy
- not because they don’t want it, but because it seems impossible at first. But stick
to it. Act on it. And others will be wanting to too.
3) Have a Passion - People love to work around someone
who expresses a positive vision with passion. It’s contagious. Passion - or loving
what you do - refuels people. It revitalizes. You can work late, yet come out with more
energy than you had at the start of the day. The reason? Passion comes from an energy
inside of you. A deeper source of power. It comes, not from trying to be right or better
than someone else, but from finding what moves you. What matters. What you care about and
want to do for yourself and for others.
4) Take Risks - Ohhhh... that can be tough sometimes. It
can be threatening to move out of our normal way of working and relating, and try
something new. To be bold. Vulnerable. Or to chance being called crazy. But that is why it
is number four on this list. If you follow these steps in order, the motivation to take
risks is already inside of you. Take a deep breath, relax and go for it - or let it move
you!
5) Communicate - This also flows naturally from the previous
steps. You know what you feel. You have a vision and some passion for how you’d like
the office to be. Now communicate it. Risk speaking from the heart instead of saying
what’s safe. When talk turns to office politics, say “You know, I feel
frustrated. I’d like to talk about how to get this office working better.” Then
share your feelings of how things could work.
If I were to sum up “leadership from within” in one sentence,
this would be it: Be the person you want to be, and live the change you want to see.
Peter Urs Bender is author of the bestselling books,
Leadership from Within & Secrets of Power Presentations. For more tips, see www.PeterUrsBender.com |
